i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
