what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize