so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
