Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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