so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize