I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize