He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
