is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
