I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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