Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
