No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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