I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
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Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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