I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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