i would punch a child for taco bell
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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