If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
