Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
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Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
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It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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