One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize