She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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