Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
