Kiss
Puke
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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