He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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