I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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