Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
