2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
