just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
