Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
