Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize