I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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