im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
