You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
