The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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