I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
