Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
