Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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