Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
