I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
