i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
