dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
