If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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