So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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