Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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