Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
