white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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