Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work