he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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