I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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