So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
