It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You made out with two different species that night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
