I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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