R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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