Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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