So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
