oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
