I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
